7 of the best ‘rock ‘n’ stroll’ footballers who were brilliant at being lazy: Berbatov, Riquelme…

In an era of athletes being prioritised over pure footballers, we’re championing the players who turned their laziness into the trait that drove their career forward.

Pressing is great and players being teacher’s pet to the manager is understandable, but it’s also horrendously boring. Gone are the days of sheer technicians being allowed to stroll around the pitch at a pace they like, turning players inside out with nonchalance that only an elite few possess.

The following legends of the game didn’t necessarily talk the talk, but they definitely walked the walk. Just don’t ask them to run.

“You are not going to see me puffing around the pitch. There is a saying in Bulgaria—great quality doesn’t require much effort.” The words of Dimitar Ivanov Berbatov in an interview with the Daily Mirror in 2011.

Berba knew what was up. Running is for mugs. Standing perfectly f*cking still is absolutely class. Preserve that energy, king.

Trundling about doing nothing is not just for enigmatic strikers and maverick number 10s, though. Sergio Busquets, arguably the greatest midfield pivot in the history of the game, rarely broke a sweat.

If he ever did run, it was a vigorous jog at best, and he looked like a giraffe made of wood and pulleys, operated by a novice puppeteer.

Busquets and Berba didn’t have to run because their brains were sprinting hell for leather.

The greatest J.R.R. since Tolkien, Riquelme scored more than a goal per three games for Villareal, which means we can call him things like Frodo Bagsman, Sméagoal, The Lord of Top Bins (that one’s tenuous), but, really, Riquelme was all about slow-motion nutmegs and passes that were so well disguised you could barely see them.

Camouflage passes. Defenders not even noticing them until it