United embarrassed by Brentford but TWICE the battering of the 4-0 horror show

Just as Manchester United set about celebrating a heist that would warrant a prison sentence in any other walk of life, they were quickly trapped by the realities of their own ineptitude. Even the gift of a 1-0 lead with two minutes to play is not safe in those slippery fingers.

But before we come to the most wild of finales, in which Mason Mount had United ahead on 96 minutes and Kristoffer Ajer brought Brentford level on 99, it is necessary to reflect on the greater levels of craziness that preceded it.

That being the craziness of a goalless draw. The sheer insanity of United somehow being in this match when they had been pummelled embarrassed in so many ways apart from any of those that actually matter.

To go by a metric as basic as shot count, Brentford won this match 30-10, not counting those on either side from Mount and Ajer. Let’s contextualise those digits a little, because when Brentford crushed United 4-0 in this fixture last season, the numbers showed 15-13 in United’s favour. This game was twice the battering of that one.

Had Brentford scored six here, it would not have been a false accounting. Ivan Toney hit a post and had a goal disallowed in a close-call offside, to go with two other good chances. Bryan Mbbeumo hit the bar and side-netting. Yoane Wissa had multiple opportunities, so did Keane Lewis-Potter, and Andre Onana was a yellow blur of saves.

And yet somehow it almost ended in a Brentford defeat when Mount, so peripheral at United, was played clear by Casemiro and teed up the most unfathomable of victories. Thomas Frank looked almost traumatised; Erik Ten Hag somehow had found a lottery ticket in the toilet.

But this is United. Of course it is. And so with a win they did not remotely deserve in their